New Year's Wishes

Dear Readers,

     This week, instead of my usual advice blog, I thought I would share a letter that was recently sent to me from a reader in Virginia. I hope you enjoy.

Best wishes for a joyous New Year,

Neil

Dear Mr. Pope,

       I am a senior citizen who served his country proudly in the South Pacific. One of my greatest joys is when my son Jeff comes over once a week with his wife, Connie, and my two beautiful granddaughters, Madison and Siri. This last week he got on the computer and dialed up your "web" "log" on the Internet. He thought I would like your take on the world so he printed a few of your columns out. I must say that I enjoyed them quite a bit.

       I typed up this note and had Jeff send it to you through the E-mail. It would be great if you could run it on you "web" "log". It is a list of some ideas I had for the New Year that I thought your readers would enjoy.

Thanks,

Sheldon Acklesburg

Fairlawn, Virginia

5 Things The Kids Should Pay For In 2012

by Sheldon Acklesburg

5. My Lawn - Those goddamn kids are always cutting through my lawn on their way home from school. After they leave, its a goddamn patchy mess. Kids, stay off my lawn.

4. The Check - Jeff, you know that I am living on a fixed income! I am not saying it has to be every time, but at least pretend like you are reaching for the bill occasionally.

3. The Movies - I go to the movies at least once a week and they should be ashamed of the price they charge. You call that a senior discount. I call it highway robbery. Movies used to be 50 cents and that included a news reel, a short, and a feature.

2. A Segway- Is that too damn much to ask for?!

1. The Donut Hole- A very nice woman from AARP explained why I am suddenly paying a fortune for some of my pills, but it is so goddamn complicated. I fought in WW2!  Just pay for my goddamn pills.

Unto the Seventh Generation

Dear LTKP,
         I've been buying 7th Generation paper products for years now, but I just recently read the back of the package and it hit me how truly profound the concept really is, that our actions today affect the world that our children and our children's children will live in. What are your thoughts?

Buyer of Seventh Generation


Dear BSG, I feel that it is never wise to live your life according to the back of a roll of toilet paper. However, I have also been giving a lot of thought to my children and my children's children. And I too have come to a profound realization--All of these years I have been sweating and toiling in the present while those free loaders are just loafing around in the future. They should be paying their fair share in the here and now.
      I've thought this way for years but only recently have I found a way to "put their money where my mouth is." Since last April, I have been borrowing money from a very nice Moldovan man using the services of my children and their children as collateral. I am not sure how the loan works exactly, but I am told that it is on the cutting edge of finance. You should look into it.